I don't want to feel dumb, I want to be great

Part of my day job is to support and mentor other QAs, sometimes new interns, and a pattern I see with new team members is that they do not like to feel dumb.

In all honesty, me neither. Even though I have spent a big part of my adult life working in tech, having to say "I did not understand that" or "I didn't know" still hurts my fragile ego.

I would like to say that at this point in my career I rarely feel dumb on a day-to-day basis, but that would be straight-up lying, since the only lesson I learn daily is how little I have actually learned so far.

The intern I'm mentoring told me, "I don't want to feel dumb, I want to be great," and I had to tell them that, sadly, one cannot become the best professional version of oneself without taking a hard look in the mirror and understanding, at the very least, what one doesn't know.

Teaching others gives me the opportunity to reflect on my own behaviors, and that desire to simply become a great professional is something I can see in myself too, along with the urge to shrug off mistakes out of shame or disappointment and focus only on my achievements.

However, I always insist that we need to spend time with those feelings, because behind that initial shame or vulnerability hides a great opportunity for growth: not only to learn about a new topic and overcome the unknown, but also to learn about ourselves how we like to learn, why we dislike feeling dumb, and where we can grow as people.

So if you find yourself mentoring someone, my advice would be:

- Reassure them that making mistakes is okay.
- Create a safe space to talk about feelings that might not be easy to express.
- Make mistakes yourself — if you show vulnerability, it will be easier for others to show it too.
- Reward growth, not only success. Doing things right matters, but trying and failing matters too.

And if you find yourself stuck in that spot where you feel dumb:

- Don't give up. Ask for help in your workplace, or if you can't, seek mentorship online.
- Write down the points you don't understand or where you feel you're getting lost.
- Sit with the feeling for a couple of minutes and ask yourself what the root cause of it is.
- Be kind to yourself, and remember you are not the only one who feels this way.

I hope this article helps you in some way. Now I'll go back to coding, and hopefully I'll feel dumb again soon!